Reclaiming His Solace
by Harleyzgirl
Summary: Derek realizes how important Penelope is to his life as she begins to disappear from it. Now he has to figure out how to convince his God given solace to risk letting him back into her life.
1. Crap and Double Crap!

Reclaiming His Solace

A/N: It may seem that this is a Thanksgiving story but it is more of a holiday season one. It will begin just before the American Thanksgiving and end on or around New Year's. I should say that I plan to have it all posted well before then as I am nearly finished writing it. Btw, all mistakes are mine since this is un-betaed.

This story is a departure for me as I have never as memory serves written a multi part fic before. I really want to thank everyone who read and reviewed my comeback story. I hadn't written one I felt confident enough to post in years so the reviews, both good and bad were welcome. Please feel free to let me know what you think this time, too. Happy reading, I hope.

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. I'm simply borrowing the characters for stress relief. My own as well as theirs. No money is being made, promise.

Part 1 – Crap and Double Crap!

When you have a larger than life personality like that of Penelope Garcia in your midst there is never any doubt the holidays were festive and filled with special memories. For the BAU team, Penelope's refusal to let the ugliness they faced everyday in their jobs wipe out the need to create and treasure the good times was a benefit of working with her that each one of them was thankful for on a daily basis.

For Derek Morgan, their current acting unit chief, he counted himself twice lucky to have Garcia as part of his team and as the person he considered his best friend. At least, she was until two significant events in recent months began to threaten their personal relationship.

The first had been his decision to pursue a relationship with Tamara Barnes despite having Penelope's prophetic like and care inspired advice ringing in his ears. The other had been his promotion to acting unit chief when Aaron Hotchner had made the sacrificial decision to step down so their team would not be dismantled.

Now with Thanksgiving weekend just over a week away he wondered if the growing estrangement between Garcia and himself was going to be the catalyst to further mess up the holidays for the rest of their team. Normally by this close to the start of the festive season Penelope would have sent out her customary invitations to her thanksgiving extravaganza. This year, nothing in his email inbox, no text message, not even her more traditional paper invite. Nada. Zilch. Nothing. Crap!

Knowing he was likely the cause and facing up to it and speaking to her were two totally different matters completely. However, he was not a man who ran from his fears or a good fight and this confrontation with Penelope might likely encompass a bit of both those elements.

Knocking firmly on her office door, he heard her rather staid response and cringed. That too was his fault. He'd cut back on calling her "baby girl", "Sweetness", "Princess", "Goddess" and the like and in very little time she'd ceased to tease and flirt with him, too. The worst part though was she had stopped much of her playfulness with the team, as well. It had been quite some time since she had answered the phone with one of her many zany one-liners. They hadn't been addressed by the "queen" or "oracle" of anything in longer than he could recall. Double crap!

As he opened the door he made a decision and prayed it was the correct one. Only Penelope could make him second-guess himself more than at any other time. "Morning, Goddess." He opted for that endearment over "baby girl" fearing he might well have lost the right to call her that.

Without responding she turned to face him. Derek could see the confusion on her face and he felt the mental kick in the pants he could see she was entertaining the notion of delivering to his backside. He deserved it and more. Derek decided to wait her out knowing if he remained silent long enough Penelope would grow concerned and speak first.

"What do you want, Derek. I'm not in the mood for games."

Damn! He cut straight to the point. "I was wondering about Thanksgiving."

"What about it?"

"Are you hosting a dinner as usual?"

"Didn't see the point this year. There's not a whole lot to celebrate."

"Would you reconsider?"

"Are you going to come and reveal to the whole team that you are involved with the sister of a victim whose case we handled?"

Direct hit. "They know. And we all need this. I think you need this. We…" he stopped to gesture between the two of them, "…need this."

"Why now, Derek? You've been quite happy without me in your personal life for weeks now."

"No. No, I haven't. I've known we were growing apart and I've just been too chicken to face you because I knew I was the root of our problems."

"You expect me to believe you were afraid to face me." The look of blatant disbelief on her face would have been funny had it been directed at anyone other than himself.

"I'm not afraid of you. Knowing you possess the ability to make my very existence disappear that's a definite yes. I know you, P and you'd never hurt me physically but I hate to admit when I've made a serious error. That being said, the fear of losing you completely from my life is far worst. I don't want to lose my God given solace just because I've been acting like an ass!"

She smiled at that statement. It didn't quite meet her eyes but it was a definite improvement over their lack of interactions of late. "No argument there, Agent Morgan."

He sagged. She was continuing with more formal address, which meant she was and intended to maintain her distance. This would not do at all. "Pen, listen to me please. I know, believe me, I know that I am going to have to work hard to regain your trust and respect. I'll do the legwork and all the heavy lifting. All, I'm asking for is a little opening in that wall you've constructed marked "no "hot stuff" allowed."

"You hurt, Derek."

"I know."

"This will be your only chance."

"I know that, too."

"And dinner will be at your house."

"That can be arranged."

"Fine." She gave him another weak smile before beginning to make mental plans aloud. "I'll get the invitations out by morning and start shopping right after work tomorrow."

"I can come by tonight and help with the invites and take you shopping as long as there's no case."

"Ha!" The force of her disparagement hit him like a brick before he listened to the rest of what she had to say. "We both know no one would be able to read your chicken scratch and the last time you went shopping with me for this particular meal we ended up with two types of turkey, two styles of ham, a roast and candied yams. No salad, no other sides and seven different kinds of dessert."

"Now that was an excellent Thanksgiving meal." Derek rubbed his tummy, licked his lips and gave her his most endearing smile.

"You're incorrigible." Penelope was laughing now a bit of a sparkle even in her eyes.

"Aw! There it is. There's the opening I needed to see to maintain some hope. I want your friendship back, Pen." He knew his serious tone was sucking the little bit of playfulness that had surfaced back out of the room yet he deemed it necessary to get his point across.

"We'll see, Derek."

"It'll happen, baby girl." He couldn't stop himself he had to let the endearment be said. With that he exited her office feeling far more lighthearted than when he'd arrived.

TBC…


	2. It’s 2:30 AM do you know where

A/N: This part is short but my muse deemed it necessary so here it is. Thank you very much to every one who alerted and reviewed part 1. Means a great deal to me and I'll do my best to respond asap.

Happy reading.

Disclaimer: Please see part one

Part 2 – It's 2:30 AM do you know where your date is?

"That's the last of the dishes, Derek," Penelope said as she leaned a casserole dish at an angle in the rack to drain as he finished putting away the stack of plates he had just finished drying.

"Thanks for the help, baby girl. I really didn't expect you to stay and clean up."

"I have to admit that originally I had planned to be one of the first people to depart but you were right. If ever there was a year that the team needed this, it was this one."

"Yeah, it's been a rough one on several fronts." They shared a quiet moment but neither of them dared to discuss what they both knew they were thinking about. He wanted so badly to touch her and wipe the sad expression from her face he knew was reflected on his own as well but it was still too soon. Instead he said, "Thank you for hearing me out the other day and organizing everything. You are truly a genius."

"You're welcome, Derek." She couldn't quite maintain eye contact even now without the hurt he'd caused her showing though. Penelope finished wiping down the counter tops before saying anything more, "I guess I'll go and wake up Kevin and we'll get out of your hair so you can go and join Tamara."

"Hold it, mama. Where do you think you're going?"

"Derek, it's nearly 2:30 in the morning. Home, would be my preference."

"So, we're not going this year?" He watched both saddened and amused as it occurred to Penelope what he was alluding to.

"Really?"

"Yes. No case and I have to start my shopping sometime. You're the best at ensuring I get the best choice for everyone."

"But what about Kevin? And Tamara?"

"I told her ahead of time which is why I'm guessing she didn't feel the least bit bad about going to bed and leaving us to clean up. As for Kevin, leave him a note. Come on, P. We did dinner for the team. Now, let's do this for us."

She was hesitating. As she worried her lower lip between her teeth he had to fight the urge to pull her into his embrace and soothe her lips with his own. It wasn't the first time he'd had sensual thoughts about Penelope but it had been awhile since they'd been in close enough proximity on an ongoing basis to get his thoughts straying her way again. Despite himself, he smiled. Not appropriate for a man with a girlfriend now but also an interesting insight he'd need to further explore. For the time being though, he needed to convince her to tackle Black Friday sales with him. "Please."

"What?"

"I'm asking you to please come with me. Just you, me and the thousands of other bargain seekers."

"More like a million."

"All the more challenging." She got that thoughtful calculating expression on her face that he knew meant she was giving the idea serious consideration.

"You're sure you don't mind Kevin crashing on your couch?"

"Not if it means having my baby girl all to myself for a few hours."

She smiled at his comment and nodded her assent. He went off to make certain Tamara was asleep while Penelope left Kevin a note and then they quietly snuck out of the house together. It was the happiest he could remember being in several months and it was all due to one reason…he had some solace back in his life.

TBC…


	3. The Rules About Movie Night

Disclaimer: See part 1

Part 3 – The Rules About Movie Night Are Non-negotiable 

It had been a mistake but one that might yet turn out to be a blessing. Since he'd made the conscious decision to get his best friend back, Derek could not have been happier. As happy as it was making him however, he could see that all was still not coming up roses for Garcia. Yes, she was slowly letting him in more day by day yet the teasing and nicknames had still not resurfaced on her part. Derek also suspected although he had no confirmation that Kevin was not taking his return to Penelope's life sitting down.

In an effort to hopefully ease some of the tension he came up with what he thought was a brilliant idea. The team was off call for the weekend and so he figured what better time for a double date. Garcia could get to know Tamara better and he could size up Kevin. Kind of like an annual review of sorts. After all, the man had been dating his best friend for the better part of two years. With his plan in mind he approached Penelope. "Hey, princess, are you and Kevin busy on Friday?"

"Nothing in ink. Why?"

"Double date."

"Hot stuff, you have officially melted your brain."

He paused to savour the first sign of true affection he had heard from her in ages. "No, P. I'm serious. It'll give us a chance to hang with no arguments from the significants about being left out."

"True but what would you suggest that all four of us have in common to do?"

"Easy."

"Easy?"

"Yup. Grab some movies, some take out and dessert and crash in my living room."

"Tamara's into nights in? Especially ones so simple."

"You may have a point there. Add a game of Scrabble® over dinner and she'll be good."

"This I have to see. I'll confirm with Kevin and let you know tomorrow, hot stuff."

And so it was that Derek came to be sitting at his dining room table beside his girlfriend, across from Kevin, watching Penelope wipe the board with them all. She had words on there he'd never even heard before but knew better than to challenge unlike Tamara. "There is no way that ACYLOIN is a word. Derek, pass me the dictionary again, please."

Dutifully he handed it over already knowing the end result. "How do you know such obscure words, Penelope?"

"She's the oracle of supreme genius," Derek said. That earned him a raised eyebrow from Kevin and an uncomfortable smile from Tamara but Penelope was beaming.

"That, I am, sweetness and don't you forget it. So, are you all ready to watch a movie because I'm up 325 points to your 125, Tamara, your sad 90 points, Derek and Kevin, are you even trying? You've only managed 50 points. These last five tiles are mine, too."

"A movie it is," Kevin said to the nods of agreement from Derek and Tamara. "What are the options?"

"A Night at the Museum 2 in the comedy category," answered Derek.

"Followed by X-Men Origins: Wolverine in action/drama," this from Penelope.

"And ending with Up in animation/family entertainment," Derek said earning a genuine smile from Penelope.

"That's nearly six hours of movie watching," Tamara said looking from Penelope to Derek in obvious dismay.

"And where's the horror?" Kevin demanded just a note of annoyance evident in his tone.

"We're off call this weekend," Derek said. "I for one plan to relax until I fall asleep and wake only due to nature's call or hunger whichever comes first."

"And, I think Derek would agree when I say, we see more than enough real horror in our jobs. We don't need or want to bring it into our home under the guise of entertainment."

Derek nodded his agreement even as he noticed the looks of displeasure from both Tamara and Kevin. It hadn't escaped his notice that Penelope had said home singular. He'd tried not to let his heart make too much of it but it still missed a beat or two at the thought. Figuring he needed to do a bit of damage control and hopefully soothe their bruised egos he asked, "So, who'd like what to drink?"

"I'd love some more white wine please, hon."

"I'll take some, too, please, sweetness," Penelope called over her shoulder as she left the dining room to go and get the first movie cued up.

"No problem, baby girl. Kevin, what about you?"

"No thanks. I had most of a beer with dinner, that's plenty. I'm driving."

"We have three movies to watch. I don't think finishing off your beer will be an issue. If it is you can always call a cab."

"I think we'll call it a night after the first movie. I'm kind or tired."

Derek raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing. He didn't need to he realized when Penelope chimed in. "No way, Kevin. That's not how movie night works. I'm not leaving without seeing all three of these movies unless Derek tosses me out."

"But, Penny."

Derek could not say for certain what made him say what came out of his mouth next but he knew he'd made a strategic miscalculation and didn't give a hoot. It was oddly freeing. "Goddess, you know you are always welcome to spend the night here. All your things are still upstairs."

Tamara was the first to react and although she did so in near silence, the message was crystal clear, they were done. She left the area where they were all gathered and went briefly upstairs. Returning in less than a minute, she carried her toothbrush and her brother's cross that she'd given to him when they'd first started dating. With her coat on and her purse in hand she finally spoke, "Kevin, if you wouldn't mind too much would you please escort me home. I believe you and I have overstayed our welcome here."

"I'd be honoured, Tamara," Kevin said before retrieving his own jacket and holding the front door for her to precede him out of the house. The whole thing seemed oddly surreal. Derek had always thought that if push came to shove, Kevin would go all stalker-like and refuse to let Penelope go. He was strangely proud of the younger man for his graceful bow out. The question remained how was Garcia going to take his involvement in the ending of her relationship? As the door closed with a quiet snick, he turned to take in her reaction.

"Hmmph!" It wasn't a word just the little sound before she plopped down on the couch and reached a hand out for her drink. Derek handed off the glass to her before going to the door to lock it. Getting a beer for him and the popcorn he joined her on the couch. She snuggled against him and he knew she'd talk when she was ready and he'd be there to listen. In the mean time they'd watch movies like they used to while he contemplated what the fallout of his little grand idea might be for his solace and himself now that it was just the two of them once more.

TBC…


	4. Where Are the Children?

Disclaimer: See part 1

A/N: I am not from the D.C./north Virginia/Maryland area although I did visit many moons ago, so any geographical mistakes I sincerely apologize. As well, I have zero idea if the BAU would get called in on a case like this however I seem to remember them handling the odd abduction so when my muse demanded this one, who was I to argue. Sorry for the delay in posting but I have seriously messed up my back so typing is now being done in fits and starts when I can manage to sit down.

Part 4 – Where Are the Children?

Any case that came to the BAU's attention over the holidays was always somehow even more emotionally taxing than usual. The one they ended up with on the Monday morning as they finished their weekend off was disturbing enough that their usual ability to see it as just another case was simply not an option. Beginning on December 1st, four year old, Roya Matthews was taken while at Landmark Mall with her mother Christmas shopping. On the 2nd, it was Travis Smithson also age four from Arundel Mills. On the 3rd, it was four year old, Marcia Goncalves, the 4th, it was Lexa Yates who had recently turned five. On the 5th, it was six year old, Suzanna Pauls and on the afternoon of the 6th it was Harrison Davis only three years old. All were taken from malls while shopping with their parents however since the case covered D.C., northern Virginia and the area of Maryland bordering D.C. it had taken a few days for local law enforcement to connect the dots and get the FBI involved once it became obvious they were dealing with the same UNSUB.

There had been to date no ransom demands, no bodies and nothing of any use on mall security tapes. They were involved because not only were they dealing with two different states plus the District, there was a growing dismay as the holidays drew closer that all these parents and possibly more would be delivered the worst possible news. The sooner they had a profile to work with the better. It was frustrating and frightening. Making things worse was the fact that Jack and all too soon Henry could conceivably fall into the UNSUB's preferred age bracket thus making them potential victims.

Since the case was happening in their own backyard they had home turf advantage or at least that's what Derek prayed to be true as he gathered the team to strategize. "Okay, people how are we going to approach this?"

Rossi spoke up first, "The local PD for D.C., northern Virginia and Maryland all sent out alerts to mall security to be extra vigilant. There are thirty-two major malls between the three and our UNSUB's already hit six of them so as long as he doesn't double dip and sticks to the malls, he's helping us box him in."

Leave it to Dave to see the silver in this cloud, Derek thought. "I'd like to call a press conference for two o'clock. There's a wave of panic spreading out there and if nothing else we can assure the public that we're on the case and taking this very seriously," JJ chimed in. He nodded his agreement. He would be happier if they could announce that there was nothing to worry about and they had the UNSUB in custody but that kind of super fast resolution only happened on television.

"I'll research any possible connection between the six families."

"Thanks, P. Prentiss, go with Hotch and meet with Roya Matthews' family. There is always the possibility something, which seemed insignificant at the time, is now making it even more impossible for her mother to sleep at night. Spence, you and I will start with Harrison Davis' parents and work backwards from there until we've covered them all. Let's see if we can't bring these babies home for Christmas."

As the team began to file out of the room, Derek looked at the board lined with the smiling face of the six little angels and felt physically ill. How could anyone harm such innocence?

"Hey."

He startled a bit but recovered quickly as Penelope gently pushed him back into the room and closed the door. He stood his ground when she invaded his space and wrapped her arms around him. "I have faith we'll bring them home, Derek. Don't let this shake you. You need a clear head to find these babies and bring them home safe." She unwrapped her arms from around him and gently framed his face. "Tell me you believe we can do this."

Looking down at her looking up at him with so much faith and love reflected in her eyes he found himself reeling from the reality of what he'd very nearly thrown away. Now wasn't the time though. They had six children to help find. Instead, he indulged himself just a little bit and gave Garcia as chaste a kiss as he could manage on the lips. "When this is over, baby girl, you and I need to talk."

"I know. Go be my hero." She gave him a kiss back on one corner of his mouth and then left as quickly as she had reappeared.

No man was more motivated than Derek Morgan at that moment. He and his team were going to find the UNSUB and then he was going to find Penelope and have a long overdue discussion.

TBC…


	5. The Search for Santa

Disclaimer: see part one

A/N: I'm working on the next part right now. Hope to have it posted before the weekend is over.

Thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate them all.

Part 5 – The Search for Santa

In the end it was Reid who cracked the case providing a pattern, a profile and most importantly a way to catch the UNSUB. On the 10th of December with Rose Dale age five, John Mills age four and Summer York also age four having been added to the list of missing the boy genius who had grown into a man before their eyes put it all together.

Spencer had suddenly jumped up from the table where he had been staring intently back and forth between the children's pictures and a map of the UNSUB's abduction sites and potential targets. In his excitement he had knocked over his remaining crutch and it was only Derek's fast reflexes that kept the younger man upright as he hopped over to the work board and started putting it all together. As relieved as everyone was to not have any bodies turn up it was aggravating beyond measure to have nothing to work with in order to help stop the daily kidnappings. "He's going to be abducting another child from D.C. today. Of the six major shopping malls in the area he's already taken from three of them. That seriously narrows our search." He pointed out the three targets on the map and put bright orange pins in where there had been blue. His previous targets were marked with a flag bearing the initials of the child taken from that location.

"Keep talking, Spence," Derek said.

"If we don't get him today he'll be back in Maryland tomorrow then Virginia one last time before he's done. Our best chance is today in D.C. He's going after a little boy, likely about four years old but definitely the same height of the other nine."

"We see where you're going, Reid but who are we looking for?" Hotch asked.

"Santa!"

"What?" It was a chorus from Emily and JJ.

"We're looking for a mall Santa?" JJ asked for clarification.

Spence shook his head while he hobbled back to his seat at the table before continuing to explain his profile, "No. We're looking for Santa. He's collecting his elves instead of reindeer, which means he'll need twelve. That's why there haven't been any bodies. He's taking very good care of them, at least right now because he needs their help to prepare and be ready for Christmas Eve. That means we only have three more chances to catch him before he goes to ground until after Christmas and I'd rather not think about what his plans will be to dispose of his helpers then." Derek watched the faces of his team and they all wore an expression of determination that he hoped also showed on his own. He locked gazes with Garcia and she gave him just the slightest wink. He returned it with a little corner smile and felt a sense of calm flow through him. They'd catch this guy, today.

"Give me something specific, Spence so I can start getting you a suspect list," Penelope said as she broke her gaze away from Derek's.

"White male. He's 40-55 years old. In the last several weeks to few months he'll have begun to alter his appearance to fit that of Jolly ole Saint Nick. White hair and beard, extra weight. There's an enabler in his life, likely a wife or close female relative and since all of the abductions have taken place between eleven in the morning and three in the afternoon, I'd say he's making deliveries to a store in those malls and then scouting until he finds the child he wants to take with him when he leaves."

"Baby girl, can you get me-"

"Already all over it, hot stuff. I'll have a list of all common businesses to each mall and their corresponding delivery schedules to you ASAP."

"That's my mama,"

"That, I am," Penelope said as she left the room to head back to her lab and do her magic. The comment however earned them amused expressions from Rossi and JJ and a raised eyebrow from Hotch. Derek could care less anymore. They were close to reuniting these kids and their parents and once they did so he had to get ready to take care of his goddess.

Nicholas Santa Carlos was apprehended in the process of luring six year old, Jacob Finch from Gallery Place just after one that afternoon. He reluctantly revealed the location of his "workshop" where the nine missing children were found. All were dressed like elves and dutifully assisting Mrs. Santa Carlos in the assembly and wrapping of wooden toys. All of them were healthy but tired and more than ready to be reunited with their parents and allowed to enjoy toys they didn't have to build and wrap themselves.

The relief Derek and the team experienced at the nearly unheard of total happy ending was awe-inspiring. They all wanted to celebrate but what he had in mind was a private affair reserved solely for the woman he knew to be his solace and himself.

TBC…


	6. Anything Can Happen Under the Mistletoe

Disclaimer: See part one

A/N: I took some serious literary license in this in regard to a legal matter but it was necessary to make it work. Please forgive me.

I'm sad to see this story end because it's been fun to put Derek through his paces as he earned Penelope's friendship, trust and eventually love back. I hope you all have enjoyed the journey. Thanks, too for all the reviews and please let me know what you think of the ending. Best, Harlie

Part 6 – Anything Can Happen Under the Mistletoe

They went out as a team. It was so not his idea but in light of everything it seemed the right thing to do. JJ went home and got Will and Henry and Hotch picked up Jack from daycare as had become his custom as much as the job would allow. The nanny he had hired when he returned from his leave was a former marine who had chosen not to reenlist so she could raise her own children without fearing both her and her husband, who was in the navy being deployed. She understood the hours, the classified nature of the job and the desperate need for it not to come home to Jack (anymore than it already had) or her own children. She was good and Penelope could find nothing on her, her husband or their respective families that set off warning bells.

The team had dinner as a family and then met at the Santa display at Potomac Yard Shopping Center and had their picture taken with Santa Claus. It was an odd way to end a day that had involved apprehending a man that could have been the twin of the man now sitting in their midst. First Henry and then Jack enjoyed a picture with the big man once the group shot was done. In twos and threes they dispersed until it was just Derek and Penelope remaining.

"Before we go, I want us to get our picture taken with Santa," Penelope said.

"Only lap you are sitting on, baby girl, is mine."

"Oh, I like the sounds of that, Agent Morgan," Garcia said. "By the looks of it, Santa's not as pleased."

Derek scowled at the man before leaning over and whispering something unrepeatable in his ear. Santa blushed but sat stock still with the requisite smile on his face as Derek perched on his knee and then pulled Penelope onto his lap. "Comfy, goddess?"

"Best seat in the place."

He held her tight against him and enjoyed the reactions of his body to her closeness. As the picture was taken he felt her shift ever so slightly back and couldn't stifle the low moan that escaped in time. "Would you two get off of me and get a room please. This is supposed to be a family activity."

Derek thought about flashing him his badge for the snarky remark then thought better of it.

"You heard Santa, mama, we need privacy before I embarrass us any further."

"Who am I to disagree with Santa? You want to follow me to my place or did you have something else in mind?" Penelope stood and stepped forward but remained in front of Derek to give him some cover as he stood as well. Following her off the Santa display, he wrapped his arms around her from behind and drew her against him for a hug before releasing her with a kiss to her left temple.

"Thanks for the cover, Pen. I've got myself back under control. I need to go and pick up a couple of things and then I'll meet you at your place."

"I'm holding you to it, hot stuff."

"I'm hoping that's not all you plan on holding me to, baby girl."

"Sweet words, my chocolate Adonis." She winked at him as she began to walk away.

He shook his head in wonder as he ran to catch up to Penelope and walk her to her car. As much as he longed to pull her back into his arms and kiss her senseless he knew he needed to wait until they were someplace private. "Slip on something that will leave me speechless until I get there," Derek whispered in her ear as he kissed her cheek and headed to his own vehicle.

It took him about thirty seconds to be in and out of his own house and on his way to Penelope's. His bag was packed and by the door and the gift he'd gotten her was on his coffee table so he figured at most she had about fifteen minutes to get ready before he arrived. Getting to her apartment he thought about just letting himself in but then opted for being invited in since it was his first time at her place since he'd nearly made the most foolish decision of his life, to let her go. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks for clarity and the sense to fight for her friendship before knocking on the door.

Her hair was down and surrounded her head in a halo of messy curls. She had scrubbed her face of make-up except for a light coating of pink gloss on her lips. She'd chosen a pair of glasses that although the frames were red that was the most outstanding thing that could be said about them. Yet, it was her attire that instantly set his insides aflame. Penelope stood in her doorway wearing a nightshirt adorned with a sprig of mistletoe and sporting the inscription: Anything Can Happen Under the Mistletoe. Yes, yes indeed it could! "Oh, mama," he said before he gently placed her gift on the table just inside her doorway, dropped his bag unceremoniously at his feet and gathered his solace into his arms. His lips were fused to hers long before he realized there was indeed a real sprig of mistletoe clutched in her hands, as well.

As much as he didn't want to he knew that they really needed to have their long overdue discussion before they could finish what he had in mind for them. Ever so gently he eased up on the pleasurable pressure he had been applying to Penelope's lips and came up for air. "Where do you want to have our talk?"

"We were talking quite effectively I thought, sugar. Weren't you listening," she teased.

"Shameless, goddess."

"Only with you." She released him and walked backward to her couch while straightening her glasses then affixing the mistletoe behind one ear.

"Baby girl, you need to lose the mistletoe or I am going to be so focused on maintaining proper tradition that I'll never get what I need to say, said."

"You say that as if it's a bad thing. This is us, Derek, I know what you have to say and I've long ago forgiven you."

"As relieved as I am to hear you say you forgive me I need to ask properly." Derek came to stand before her holding a package in one hand. When it became apparent that she meant to gloss over his desire to apologize properly he placed a finger over her lips wishing it could be his lips again instead. "Have a seat for a moment and hear me out, please."

Once Penelope was seated, Derek sat across from her on the coffee table and handed her the package. An odd expression crossed her face at first like she was trying to decide between opening it and setting it aside but as he had hoped curiousity won out. He watched her opening the wrapping and tried to hold himself still with the anticipation running through him. She came upon the journal first and as he expected she sought his silent permission before opening it. He'd flagged the entries he most wanted her to read from the last few months of his life. The most important ones being during the weeks their relationship had been estranged. As he watched her reading he could see the very thing he had observed, as he'd read through the journal himself that he'd slipped further and further away from happiness as their relationship had faltered.

"You journal?"

"Only since you nearly died on me. I needed an outlet and you were healing. I couldn't add to that and this was the next best thing."

"So when you told me you loved me that night, you meant it."

"With all my heart, baby girl but I've come to realize it wasn't our time yet. I think I needed to experience nearly losing you in the spiritual sense too, as well to really get my head out of my ass."

"That was risky, Derek."

"I know that now and that's why I don't intend to ever let you go again. Put the journal aside for now. I'll let you read the rest of it later if you want. I need you to finish opening your gift."

She set aside the journal and reached for the envelope accompanying it. Once she had it open she stared for a long while in silence at the content. When she at last met his gaze with her own there were tears in her eyes. "How? When? Does this mean-?"

"Feeling a bit overwhelmed himself Derek replied, "I'm going to answer your questions a bit out of order." He slipped to one knee before her taking hold of her left hand and leaving her right clutching the envelope and the papers it had contained. "Pen, I know the last few months have not been anywhere near the best in our relationship and I'll be the first to admit that has been primarily my doing however, the last few weeks as I have sought to regain your trust and to show you as best I know how, how much I love you and want you in my life something has become glaringly obvious, neither of us function at our best without the other and I don't want to risk ever having to endure that again. I love you Penelope and I want to know if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife. To be the one person I know I can always depend on, to be my lifeline, to be not only my God-given solace but to be the woman I want to be all that to as well and much more."

"It's not a typo on the deed then," she asked.

"Not a chance but it will make a whole lot more sense if you'll have me."

"Good thing it's just the two of us left in this relationship then isn't it, hot stuff."

He nodded. "So, baby girl, will you marry me?"

"That's Mrs. Hot Stuff to you," she said and pulled him against her for a kiss. As their kiss ended he pulled the ring he had purchased for her from his pocket and slid it home on her finger. "To answer your other questions: Just before Thanksgiving, I contacted the Kansas organization that run a similar program there and they were too happy to put me in contact with their legal counsel about opening a sister branch here. The building I already owned."

"Thank you, Derek. It's an amazing gift. Come here let me thank you properly."

The deed to the Penelope Morgan Solace House for grieving children and their families was placed on the coffee table along with the journal as Derek laid his fiancé on the couch and covered her body with his own. It had been a long journey to get them here but he had set out to reclaim his solace and now that he had he was going to make certain to never lose her again.

Finis


End file.
